We all have fathers, though in some cases they are unknown. My own father, too, is unknown, as his true self died from within for seventeen years, thus robbing me of the chance to know his identity.

As in the natural world, we live a life that goes through various stages of growth, decay, and death and trials, triumphs, and grief, all of which shape our thoughts and make us who we are. Sometimes, these grounded roots become decayed and wither away before life has fully been lived, causing those left behind to pick up the missing pieces and repair open wounds and broken spirits. 

In search of my father’s true identity, while demonstrating the adverse effects of Frontotemporal dementia, Dying from Within explores the catastrophic loss experienced by a child when their familial roots wither away and a parental figure experiences a loss of identity.

Through the compositing of multiple exposures with varied opacity, and as each image passes, one becomes aware of my father’s soul, mind, and physical attributes that are overtaken by winter leaves. These leaves, too, wither away and die, as if it were my father’s body and appearance decaying underneath the ground.

 

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Reflections of Self

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Patterns in Trees